Men and Women (From Yahoo Group)

Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Alghough they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress Beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't Believe you.

Joke --- Forehead

Forehead

A husband is at home watching a cricket match when his wife interrupts: "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily. "Fix the light? Now does it look like I have Electrician printed on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right." To which he replied - "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have fridge technician written on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Fine," she says "Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."

"I'm not a darn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have carpenter written on my forehead? Don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts feeling guilty about the way he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out.

As he walks into the house he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

"Honey, how'd all this get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried, just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either going to bed with him or bake a cake."

He said, "So what kind of cake did you bake him?"

She replied, "Hellooooo.... Do you see Monginis Bakery written on my forehead?"

Joke --- Don't use mobile inside Toilet

Don't use mobile inside Toilet



I was barely sitting down when i heard a vioce from the other stall saying :
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom
But i don't know what got into me, so i answered, somewhat
embarrassed, "Doin just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of quesion is that? At that point, I'm thinking this
is too bizarre so i say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!"

At this point im just trying to get out as fast as i can when i hear i
hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but i figured i could
just be polite and end the conversation. i tell him, "No.......
I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then i hear guy say nervously....

Listen. i'll have to call you back. There's is an idiot in the
other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!"

Children From Yahoo Group

CHILDREN

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.

There is only one pretty child in the world
and every mother has it. - Chinese Proverb.

Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...
she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

We child proofed our home 3 years ago
and they're still getting in!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

inspirational thoughts From Google Group

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1 WE CANNOT HOLD A TORCH TO ANOTHER MAN'S PATH WITHOUT BRIGHTENING OUR OWN

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2 EDUCATION IS NOT PREPARATION FOR LIFE. EDUCATION IS LIFE ITSELF

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3 PAIN IS INEVITABLE. SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL.

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4 IF U DON'T HEAR OPPORTUNITY KNOCKING, FIND ANOTHER DOOR.

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5 WHEN IT IS DARK ENOUGH , YOU CAN SEE THE STARS.

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6 NEVER LOOK DOWN ON ANYBODY UNLESS YOU ARE HELPING THEM UP.

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7 NOTHING IS SO STRONG AS GENTELNESS, AND NOTHING IS SO GENTLE AS TRUE STRENGTH.

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8 HATEFUL PEOPLE THINK GOD IS ON THEIR SIDE BUT LOVING PEOPLE ALWAYS TRY TO BE ON GOD'S SIDE.

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9 FROM WHAT WE GET WE CAN MAKE A LIVING. WHAT WE GIVE HOWEVER MAKES A LIFE.

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10 A MAN HAS MADE ATLEAST A START ON DISCOVERING THE MEANING OF HUMAN LIFE WHEN HE PLANTS SHADE TREES UNDER WHICH HE KNOWS FULL WELL HE WILL NEVER SIT.

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