Thursday, March 23, 2006

Funny Joke~ from Yahoo Group

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her mentally stable. When he went to tell her the news, he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses".

"The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with the belt of his robe. I am so sorry, but he's
dead."

Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry

Death of Commando Mr. Bhandari after 600 Days being in Coma

Death of Commando Mr. Bhandari after 600 Days being in Coma

Late Mr. Surjan Singh Bhandari
N.S.G. Commando
During The Attack on Akshardham temple on 24th September 2002 this Brave Man fought the greatest battle of his life. Yes he was the N.S.G. Commando Late Mr. Surjan Singh , who sacrificed his life for the Nation. Sadly On 19th May 2004 he lost the Toughest and Longest battle against life exactly after 600 Days being in Coma, he lost this life.

The Bullet which hit him in the head made him Unconscious for almost 600 days. His family members were hoping that one day their Hero will open his eyes but he didn't.

It was the Longest Wait for the family members of this Brave Man. When the whole India was busy in Guessing Who will be the Next PM of the country - Will it be Sonia or will it be Manmohan Singh, This man was fighting his Last battle. But it's so sad that in the hype of all the Political Drama, the News about his Death was Lost like a needle in a hay stack! Even the leading News Papers & So Called Best News Channels of India which Works on 24 X 7 basis, failed to highlight this story of the Brave Man. Unfortunately it was mentioned somewhere on the middle page of some newspaper.....This was the Reward for the Brave task for which he lost his life.

Besides his Family members, only one thing was there with him during those toughest 600 days. It was there near his bed till the last Moment. Can you guess what it was?............... It was the "Tiranga", yes! Our National Flag , which was saluting him for his Great cause. Absolutely No words can suffice our Gratitude towards him...
If news papers refuse to cover, TV channels refuse to cover, let us do our bit.
Please forward this mail to as many people as you can.
This is the only way we can salute his Bravery..

May his soul rest in peace.

God Bless Everyone

Histroy Of "APRIL FOOL".......!!! (Must Read) Its Truth.. From Yahoo Group

As we are approaching April 2006, we need to remind ourselves..........................!!!
APRIL FOOL

Most of us celebrate April fool day every year and fool each other. But how many of us know the bitter facts hidden behind it. It was around a thousand years ago that Spain was ruled by Muslims. And the Muslim power in Spain was so strong that it couldn't be destroyed. The Christians of the west wished to wipe out Islam from all parts of the world and they did succeed to quite an extent. But when they tried to eliminate Islam in Spain and conquer it, they failed. They tried several times but never succeeded.

The unbelievers then sent their spies in Spain to study the Muslims there and find out what was the power they possessed and they found that their power was TAQWA. The Muslims of Spain were not just Muslims but they were practicing Islam. They not only read the Quran but also acted upon it. When the Christians found the power of the Muslims they started thinking of strategies to break this power. So they started sending alcohol and cigarettes to Spain free of cost. This technique of the west worked out and it started weakening the faith of the Muslims in particular the young generation of Spain.

The result was that the Catholics of the west wiped out Islam and conquered the entire Spain bringing an end to the EIGHT HUNDRED LONG YEARS' RULE OF THE MUSLIMS in Spain. The last fort of the Muslims to fall was Grenada (Gharnatah), which was on the 1st of April. From that year onwards, every year they celebrate April fools day on the 1st of April, celebrating the day, they made a fool of the Muslims. They did not make a fool of the Muslim army at Gharnatah only, but of the whole Muslim Ummah.

We, the Muslims, were fooled by the unbelievers. They have a reason to celebrate April fool day, to keep up the spirit.

Dear brothers and sisters, when we join in this celebration, we do so out of ignorance. If we had known about it, we would never have celebrated our own downfall. So now, that we are aware of it, and now let us promise that we shall never celebrate this day. We should learn our lesson from the people of
Spain, and shall try to become practicing Muslims, never to let anybody weaken our faith.

Please forward this message to as many Muslims as you know. The more people you forward it to the greater will be the reward from your Lord in this world and in the life hereafter. Please try to do it before the 1st of April, to create awareness that
WE ARE NOT FOOLS ANYMORE.

Wassalam & Maula Waris,

N.Hussain
Karachi.

Men Never Listen! from Yahoo Group

Men Never Listen!


On a flight to Singapore, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his predicament. Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on
the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched
them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water,
gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as he opened his eyes.

A nurse was staring down at him with a smile on her face. "What happened?" he exclaimed.

"You pushed one too many buttons," replied the nurse.

"The last button marked ATR was an AutomaticTampon Remover. Your balls are in the bucket under the bed"

Conference call rules you must know --- from Yahoo Group by Deep Mehta

Conference call rules you must know

A decade ago, people were already talking in groups of three or more on the phone. That was usually an accident called the cross-connection.

Today this multiparty conversation is a deliberate act and one that is being used by more and more companies every day. It is now a phenomenon called the conference call.

"This (the growing popularity of conference calls) is primarily due to the improvement in telecom infrastructure and the resulting cost effectiveness. Besides, the savings in travel time and the ability to solve simple problems immediately also helps businesses greatly," says Supratim Roy, marketing manager, Webex Communications, which provides conferencing solutions to several multinationals.

There is a flip side to this popularity.

An improperly planned and managed conference call can have a detrimental effect. At the lowest level it could mean a wastage of time and a slightly larger phone bill. On a more serious note, it could hamper serious strategic and policy issues for the firm.

Most people are willing to jump onto a conference call to get their problems solved, but few know how to prepare and conduct themselves during the call. Exercising a few rules can help change this.

Before a call

i. Plan and circulate the agenda and rules

"Making a powerpoint slide with the points of discussion and circulating it in advance is effective," says Vivek Furtado, sales manager, GEMS Financial. "It ensures that everyone starts on the same page," he adds.

Also, set the ground rules. This starts with specifying the attendance method at the conference call. "A simple roll call is usually used, though sometimes the system is automated to announce user entry and exits," says Roy of Webex.

Pre-determine other areas like order of discussing topics, the amount of time on each issue, the order of speakers etc.

ii. Choose a representative and the moderator

Rather than everyone joining in, it makes sense for one speaker from your team to communicate with the other parties during the call, while the others listen in on the speaker.

If the representative is not clear about a point, the phone can be put on mute and the issue quickly discussed.

"The moderator, ideally, is someone senior and must be well-known to all participants. This helps maintain an orderly flow," says Rukmini Iyer, a corporate trainer and instructional designer.

iii. Keep the group small

By consensus the optimal size of a conference call group is three to seven people. Anything larger is a recipe for chaos.

While companies have tried techniques like having 50 speakers, giving each a number, and then asking them to talk, the end result is usually a mess with people spending time finding each other rather than discussing the agenda.

iv. Adjust the background

Participating in a conference call from your cubicle is not a good practice. Besides the disturbance to yourself, if the speakerphone is being used it may result in sharing of confidential information or just plain irritation to those around. So, booking the conference room would be a good step.

An even worse idea is being on the move and joining in on your mobile. Except if it is a simple three way call, the background noise as well as voice quality are a serious deterrent to effective conferencing.

v. Know the phone instrument

Often, you will be required to break from the conference call to clarify or discuss something else. In such a situation it's important to know the mute and hold buttons.

"People regularly discuss issues thinking the phone is on mute, while it is not. They thus not only lose confidentiality, but add to confusion in the call itself," observes Iyer.

In addition it helps to keep the login number and access code (provided to you by the telephone service provider) at hand in case you wish to disconnect and rejoin the call at a later stage.

During the call

vi. Practice basic telephone etiquette

A conference call is no different from any other formal telephone conversation.

Therefore, according to Nasha Fitter, who manages Fitter Solutions, a communications and training agency, the regular rules of telephone etiquette apply here. "Basic points such as not speaking out of turn, talking slowly and clearly, sticking to the agenda must be adhered to," she adds.

Most importantly when speaking with a large or a new group, it is important to introduce oneself.

"The number one problem in conference calls is people not identifying themselves. The listeners are left wondering who is talking and about what issue, consequently the discussion goes off on a tangent," says Iyer.

vii. Understand the criticality

The collective effort of a conference call is very large. "You need to remember the total effort is the time of the call multiplied by the number of people. So an organisation is spending an enormous amount of time on each call," says Fitter.

Also, once an issue is discussed in a conference call, it is unlikely to be covered in an offline meeting. Hence, the tendency for complacency during a call needs to be guarded against.

viii. Keeping minutes and doing a concluding review

Appoint a person to keep the minutes. This is invaluable for analysis of who said what and to understand the actions that must be taken after the call.

However, a representative of the team who is constantly interacting with others might not be able to write at the same time. So, any member who has limited involvement in the call should do this.

A review should be done before closing the call. Hence the moderator should be given the minutes, and can repeat the allocation of responsibilities with a confirmation of acceptance from the other users.

xi. Switch off the mobile phone

Simple as it sounds, it is the most ignored aspect of meetings. In conference calls especially it is important for two reasons.

Firstly, the static a ringing mobile produces can seriously disrupt the conference at a crucial point.

Even if this does not happen, a person taking a mobile phone call in the middle is very likely to lose the flow of the meeting.

After the call

x. Do a post mortem

Post mortems have always been unpopular yet necessary. Going over your minutes in detail is therefore a good idea.

Besides, most companies often provide features such as recording and playback and even transcription of the call. This helps analyse issues such as agenda points requiring further clarification, new points raised in the discussion etc.

5 types of conference calls

i. Simple three way call

This is the simplest of all. It is mostly impromptu and has no special rules. To clarify a single point or confirm an action between three people is the objective. This is commonly done using the mobile phone unlike the other call types that are done with speakerphones in conference rooms.

ii. Announcement call

The head office of a company might for example decide to change the pricing policy at short notice. Explaining this is best done by a conference call as it is interactive and allows all branches to clarify common doubts.

iii. Follow up call

Especially popular in project-oriented companies, it involves giving status reports on various issues. At every stage of implementation, the various parameters are tracked by headquarters and explanations asked for any shortcomings.

A typical example of this is the project status review when a stage is completed. Another is the month-end sales review where all the branches have a conference call with headquarters explaining their sales numbers.

iv. Broadcast call

Used originally to declare and discuss financial results of companies, it is today used internally. It involves one central speaker. There may be a limited number of other speakers. Most people log in and simply listen to the conference call without giving their inputs.

v. Feedback call

This involves giving detailed descriptions of a particular experience. There is a narrator and a listener at the other end who will keep detailed notes of the narrator's comments.

An example of this is from the IT industry where a user describes his usage of new software to a programmer, the features he is using and the problems faced.